I Was Fat
And this is the goal I set to lose weight, more or less verbatim from how I wrote it
What Is The Problem
Since moving to Uni I’ve put on weight. I haven’t gotten to the gym enough. This ties in with the other physical health problems. Poor diet, lack of movement, and since dislocating my knee it’s only gotten worse. I’m disgusted at my appearance, even my face looks fat.
I want to feel comfortable walking around topless, I want to go to the beach and not feel like a whale, I want to stretch topless without having rolls of fat. I want to look good in shirts without having my man boobs show
I am fat
What Am I Going To Do?
Again, this ties into the other ones quite well. I’ll eat better, exercise better, run. I’m going to focus on my physical health like I haven’t before. I’ll integrate it into the wellbeing app, to maintain perspective and understanding of my health
What Will Success Look Like?
I don’t actually know. Being in the 70kg range? Escaping to the beach without feeling bad about myself? I don’t know about the details, but my goal is to be sub 80kg. I want to get there healthily, losing fat not muscle. But we’ll see. I believe in me
- Weigh below 80kg
- Feel comfortable topless
- Enjoy swimming in public
How Did I Do?
I ended the year around 81kg, which down from 90 is almost 10% of my bodyweight. I didn’t hit the goal, but in aiming for it I developed good habits, namely exercise and diet, which I carried into 2020.
I generally feel more comfortable with a shirt on, but that’s more liking the sensation of having some kind of material. I was okay to walk around the house topless as needed (to/from the sharehouse shower for example), as well as with partners, so I’m calling that a win
Strangely enough, despite living in Melbourne and within 30 minutes drive of the beach, I didn’t end up going until June, when I was travelling California. Without thinking, my shirt came off and I was playing in the waves with my friends. Looking back, I’m really proud of how effortless this was, after a long time of avoiding being topless wherever possible.
In short, I lost a lot of weight, and consider this goal met. In hindsight, I recognise that this isn’t the heathiest of goals, and that associating a specific weight with being acceptable, I definitely put myself at risk of more serious issues. In future goals, I am more considerate of this concern.